windrush shock olympic bid
As concern mounts that the 2012 Olympics may not be ready in time, a rival bid was tabled by a leading design and print company convinced they can pull it off ‘all under one roof.’
Using their ‘all under one roof’ philosophy Windrush managing director Rick Lockyer has launched a new 2012 Olympic bid. He has openly criticised the need for so many venues spread all over the country. ‘That’s why it’s costing so much’ he fumed, ‘We save our client’s money by offering all of our design, web design and print services all under one roof. It is the only way that makes sense.’ He continued (to be fair we couldn’t shut him up) ‘What is the point of going to one company for design and then driving all over the country for your printing? It just isn’t cost-effective. ALL UNDER ONE ROOF is the only way forward.
When pressed on his Olympic vision Rick revealed some of the ways Windrush intend to pull off the hosting of the 2012 Olympics all under one roof. ‘Track and field is easy, as we have a large design studio and plan to push the desks into the middle of the room. Okay it might take a few more laps to run the 400 but that’s a small price to pay. We struggled with the high diving initially until we tested one of our many paper recycling bins by asking estimator Tom Lockyer to jump off the roof into one. It needs refining of course and when Tom gets out of hospital we will begin the second round of testing.’
It was hard not be carried along by Rick’s enthusiasm and he had obviously thought this through on all fronts. ‘We have even decide to re-design the logo. That wasn’t a tough decision. Lets face it..we couldn’t have a worse 2012 logo than the one we have now and to be fair, if we are going to host 2012 we might as well get a bit of publicity out of it and make good use our design studio at the same time.
Not everyone is convinced Windrush can pull this off though, and their plan to hold the opening ceremony in ‘Our spacious reception area’ was considered a bit low key compared to Beijing. Rick didn’t agree. ‘We have budgeted for a few bottles wine and some ‘Gatorade’ for the sporty types. We also plan to make quite a spread of sandwiches and have hired a juggler if he can get the day off.
The teams will parade through the front door, into the print room passing twice around the 5 colour press, onto the finishing department where we hope to stage much of the gymnastics, then up through pre-press to the velodorome (or computer-to-plate room as we call it now), then through the design studio past the 100 metres finishing line. (Creative Director Joe Graham’s anglepoise lamp).
It does seem a pretty comprehensive bid and it is even possible to visualise the flooded car park awash with blonde beauties and Yngling. It makes you wonder if the ‘All under one roof’ concept might make some real sense after all.